BRAINS!!! (or, This is NOT About Star Trek)

When I first saw Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, the most disturbing scene was not Kirk screaming "Khaaaaaaaaan!@", nor was it the death of Spock^®... no, no--it was being introduced to Ceti Alpha Five's only remaining indigenous life form. What was that, you may ask... well, here, I'll let Khan do the talking for me:

They've killed twenty of my people, including my beloved
wife. Oh, not all at once, and not instantly, to be sure.
You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap them-
selves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of
rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion.
Later, as they grow, follows madness - and death.

While hearing him describe what they do was pretty bad, it wasn't nearly as bad as seeing what they do. Don't recall? Here, let me oblige, via the script:

At a sign, the helmets are slammed down. As the muffled
shrieks are heard from within, the eels crawl across
the faces of Chekov and Terrell; with unerring instincts
they head for the ears of the two hapless men. There is
some atrocious pain as they enter - then dazed calm.

And here's a photo of their exit:



The thing crawling out of the ear? That's Ceti Alpha Five's only remaining indigenous life form; consider yourselves formally introduced. Now, one more Star Trek analogy before I can move on to what this article is supposed to be about.

In the series Star Trek: The Next Generation (a series which still completely holds up, fucking watch it if you haven't), the second to last episode of season one is called Conspiracy. In this episode, there are some very odd decisions being made high up within Starfleet... well, it turns out, there is a parasitic slug species, apparently unrelated to Ceti Alpha Five's only remaining indigenous life form, that is crawling into Starfleet Admirals and various other such higher up's and such, attaching themselves to the brain, and taking full control of these people in an effort to control our species.

Here's a photo of what they look like:



Huhmp.

Yeah, that is the same photo as before.

I couldn't find the one I wanted, stfu, k? k.

POINT: Parasite things tackling our brains and taking control of the WORLD.

Okay... and here's the point I was originally trying to reach: THEY ARE REAL AND THEY ARE HERE, RUN!

I'm serious. Well, except for the running part. But do that, we're all too fucking fat.

CLICK THIS: A Nation of Neurotics? Blame the Puppet Masters?

From the article:

"Toxoplasma is astonishingly successful, able to live in thousands of species, including us. Billions of people are infected with Toxoplasma, which they pick up from the soil or from contaminated meat or water. In most people it remains dormant, but even in this quiet state it may also have affect human behavior. Some scientists have linked Toxoplasma to schizophrenia, while others have found personality differences between people with Toxoplasma and those who are Toxo-free. It's possible that it uses its prey-altering strategy on our brains, too."

This freaks me the fuck out, k?

K.

I mean the places the creative mind can go with this are unlimited. What if, after enough research, we begin to find that the entirety of our species is host to a completely different, even smaller, parasite? And what if that parasite is our conscience? Our perceptive abilities? Our soul? And this Toxoplasma is just the Satan Parasite... lesser in numbers of the two... causing rebellion, upheaval, wars, extremist beliefs (irony, eh? Stfu)... and... and... and the two parasites have been warring with one another since the beginning of everything and we, our "bodies", are merely pointless tools/shells/puppets is this gigantilactic battle of all battles THAT WE WANT NO PART OF?? HUH, WHAT THEN? WHAT?

Okay, that's all for this time, join me here tomorrow as I teach you how to bake a most wonderfully delicious tuna casserole. Right in your own oven! Buh-bye. :)